By learning from mistake, error, failure, slip-ups and blunders we can take something negative, and turn it into a positive experience.

Failure is covered extensively in the self improvement industry, as well it should, but learning from mistakes is often neglected. I’m going to be covering many of the things covered in self help books and then take it one stage further; because sometimes we don’t want to make those mistakes in the first place.

Let’s cover the self improvement thing first, because it is important.

If you have a fear of failure, you need to get over it. You are going to struggle to make progress if you don’t because you will treat learning experiences in the wrong way.

If you wish to learn, you are seeking out failure in order to conquer it. When you succeed you do so because you already know how to do something, when you fail it is because you don’t know how to do it.

But you take that failure and you learn from it. You pick yourself up and you try again until you succeed.

And when you succeed in something you have previously failed in, you grow. You become more than you were previously.

If you’re not making any mistakes, if you’re not failing often, then you’re not learning or you’re not practicing. You’re certainly not stretching yourself.

The most intelligent people are those that persist when they make mistakes. Learning from mistakes is part of who they are. Every time you make a mistake you learn something new. And for this reason I love mistakes.

However...

There are some mistakes that I cannot stand. Mistakes I know I should not have made. Mistakes that are silly, that I make time and time again, and that I never learn from.

These are mistakes that we should not be happy about because they are avoidable.

So let’s examine what we need to have in place in order to cut down on those avoidable mistakes.

To begin, I’m going to go back to the above point. A mistake that is unavoidable the first time becomes avoidable in the future. But we must make sure that learning from mistakes like these is a habit that we pursue. If not we will make it again and again.

Make a conscious effort to acknowledge the mistake. From there you can then ask why you made it. It may have been that you didn’t know enough and you need to do more research. Maybe you weren’t concentrating. Or possibly you just need more practice.

Once you’ve worked out why the mistake happened, ask yourself how you would change things in the future.

Once you’ve done this you know how to avoid the mistake in the future, but...

You haven’t really learnt from your mistake yet.

Intellectually you may know what to do different, but properly learning from mistakes involves making it into a habit.

To do this visualise yourself in various situations in the future doing it correctly. If the scenario is very specific imagine the same situation at least five times.

[Check out the rest of the site for more info on visualising and creating habits.]

When I was at university I had a kitchen cupboard with a pad lock on it. In the beginning I started to place the key in the cupboard after unlocking it. It was a natural thing to do, because the shelf was very handy.

Then one day I almost shut the padlock before removing my keys from the cupboard. I caught it just in time. It would have been very annoying for the key ring also contained my room key.

The next time I used the cupboard I put the key in the same place. Again I caught myself before I locked the door. This time I decided that learning from mistakes like this was going to be a priority. I experimented by going through a visualisation, imaging myself opening the padlock and then placing the keys in my pocket. It worked; after that it wasn’t an issue.

Not an issue for me anyway. But one of the girls that shared my kitchen developed the same habit as well. Learning from mistakes, however, was not her forte. Instead of changing her habits, she did lock her keys in the cupboard.

And when I say learning from mistakes was not her strong point I really mean it. To my knowledge she did it at least another 3 times after that!

So learning from mistakes is very, very handy; but it would be nice to avoid the mistake in the first place and the best way of doing that is to learn from other people’s mistakes.

This is very similar to the process of learning from mistakes you make yourself. Whenever you see, hear, read about or find out about someone else’s mistake, begin by working out why they made the mistake. If you don’t have enough information to work this out, make an educated guess.

Then doing the visualisation task, as above, imaging you are involved in the situation they are in, but doing it correctly.

We can take this even further by looking ahead and predicting where mistakes may happen. When a situation looms, where you are likely to make mistakes, visualise the situation ahead of time. Imagine the scenario in your head, trying to predict where you may make mistakes. Once you find a scenario, imagine it going perfectly in your head. Do this over, and over until you feel more confident.

The door to my last house, for example, locked automatically. I was paranoid that I was going to lock myself out so I gave myself the habit of looking at my keys just before I shut the door every time.

When it is imperative that you don’t make mistakes, get in the habit of double checking what you’re doing. If you’ve ever been given advice on taking exams, for example, it probably included the advice to double check your answers. When you do this, it gives you an opportunity to correct your mistakes before it is too late.

Similarly, before take off pilots go through a systematic check of all their instruments, controls, fuel et cetera are all in order. We can get away without making these checks in a car, but if we break down in the air we can’t just pull to the side of the road. There is no room for error here; learning from mistakes is a risky strategy when an error could send you hurtling towards the ground.

I make a similar check list before leaving my house. I check specifically to make sure I have my keys, my phone and wallet. Then I ask if there is anything else I may need by quickly running through what I’m going to do. Do I have all my kit if I’m going to play sport? Are there any letters that need posting? Was I supposed to take the rubbish out? Finally I make sure someone is still at home, and if not I make sure I lock up correctly. I always do this in the same order, and so I very rarely forget to bring anything.

Finally, if you follow the advice on brain health and state of mind, you’ll be much less likely to make mistakes. Most the mistakes I make are when I haven’t eaten properly, am tired, or my mind is distracted. Learn to rid yourself of stress, exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, concentrate, be optimistic – honing all these things will considerably reduce your mistakes.

I’m going to give you one more tip that won’t lower your mistakes; in fact it will likely increase them. What it will do, however, is make your mistakes much less noticeable and important.

Up your standards.

If you make what you do, a level above what everyone else will notice, your mistakes will be a level above them as well.

Think of a musician that plays one off note. 99% of the audience won’t realise.

Or an artist, who can draw completely realistically, but who usually does so in a more stylised way. When a line is slightly off, it won’t show.

Or a student who strives to get 100% in all her tests. If she makes a few mistakes, 95% will still get her that A. But the student who merely aims for a pass, is much more likely to fail.

Or the driver who always aims to park precisely centre of the lines is much less likely to knock another car in the car park.

Up your standards and you’re notice, but other people won’t. And if others don’t, the mistakes don’t really matter.

Actually I have one final tip for you.

You can disguise your mistakes. It is a bit of a last resort tactic because it is clunky and quite obvious. But it is worth having in the arsenal none-the-less.

A common occurrence of this is when you accidentally trip, but pretend that you were doing a little dance. That one is pretty obvious, but it illustrates the point.

The musician who plays a bad note may find himself in trouble if it is out of key. But he can rescue himself by improvising a couple of notes to get back on track.

If you’re driving and take a wrong turn, you can say you’re taking a detour.

If the artist’s brush slips, the extra line can be incorporated into the finished painting.

I remember playing rugby one time at school. At the time I wasn’t very good at sport, and it was pretty definite I was about to lose the ball to the opposition.

The field was wet and muddy; the ball slippery. My rivals were surrounding me, I had to catch the ball or they would get it for sure. I got a hand to it, but under the pressure the ball slid out of my hand. It was almost certain I was going to lose it.

But I was desperate not to look the fool.

Just as the ball was leaving my finger-tips I managed to hook it back down towards me. I managed to keep a touch to it, and momentarily keep it out the hands of the opposition. But I could not get a proper grasp.

The ball slid back and behind my back, keeping it out the reach of the opposing team. Then I managed to get my other hand’s finger tips to it and continue to swing it round my back to the other side. There I managed to grab it solidly.

It looked awesome, and everyone was stunned.

Unfortunately I was stunned as well, and promptly passed it straight to the opposing team!

Well, it’s an easy mistake to make.