And it isn’t just holding you back. This barrier to learning has been holding back advances in science and our understanding of the world for thousands of years.

• It stopped us believing Copernicus when he said the world wasn’t the centre of the universe
• It stopped us believing that Hell was not at the centre of the Earth
• It stopped us believing the few people that reported rocks falling from the sky
• It stopped us believing that we are all created equal
• It stops members of dangerous cults questioning those dangers
• It stopped people believing the Earth was round

Actually it didn’t. Apparently there is no evidence that anyone ever really believed the Earth was flat. And that is a misconception that I only learnt today.

Not that I’m particularly bothered whether I was correct about this or not. It doesn’t really affect my life whether they thought it was flat, round, or triangular.

Other things matter more, however. Questions such as:

• Do mobile phones cause cancer?
• Do humans cause the polar ice caps to melt or is it just a natural climate change?
• Does a detox benefit your health?
• Is left- or right-wing politics best?
• Is there a god?
• Is the defendant guilty?
• Will stocks in Company X rise or fall?

Debates around questions like this crop up everyday. For some of these, an answer will eventually become apparent; for others we may never truly know the answer.

Most of them, however, are frequently argued about.

Many people take their stand on certain subjects and won’t even consider the possibility that they may be wrong. The stronger our beliefs, the more strongly we try to hold onto them. In any given subject there are areas where things haven’t reached a consensus and arguments prevail.

But when we become this stuck in our attitude, we lose the possibility of expanding our beliefs. And the more we believe something, the less likely we are to seriously question those beliefs. We have put up a serious barrier to learning new things.

Some subjects (particularly religion, politics and business decisions) produce ‘heated’ debates and often full blown arguments. We know we are right, and we want to convince everybody else. In the worst-case scenario, these arguments escalate into wars!

Usually it isn’t as extreme as that, however. Yet, even ‘heated’ debates are actually negative occurrences. Many enjoy them, but they are rarely productive.

Think about this: You’re having an argument with a friend. And you know you are right. But the thing is: he also knows that he is right!

Or you’re reading a book and you disagree with something the author says. You know you’re right. But what do you think the author thought?

Why are you more likely to be correct than the person with the opposing view?

The method I’m about to outline will not only help reveal if there is a gap in your arguments, but if you’re completely correct, it will help you to convince the other person of the truth! It will help break down that barrier to your learning success.

At the end of the day, we are trying to find the truth. Sometimes we just don’t have the evidence to know what the truth is; but the better we are at reasoning, the closer we should be able to get.

Keeping a healthy scepticism

Obviously our beliefs are very important to us. They stop us following what we hear blindly. They keep us sceptical.

Our beliefs protect us, and if we easily took on new beliefs, we would be led astray. For example they keep us from joining dangerous cults.

But they also stop us from taking on beliefs that may well be true.

Imagine you were already involved in that cult. You would think that your beliefs were protecting you from outsiders. Cult leaders will often warn you from questioning your beliefs, saying it is the work of the devil. When people try to get them to believe otherwise, they become angry and won’t discuss it.

Although we are not in such an extreme situation, our beliefs can still harm us if we won’t open up and challenge those beliefs.

The strategy, outlined below, will work with your scepticism allowing you to question your own beliefs without blindly taken on new ones. If your belief is correct, it will actually work to reinforce that belief. And it will even help you to convince the other person of your argument.

It will allow you to open up your mind to learning new things. It will help you to become a person who is correct more often. And it will help you seek the truth.

Essentially we are putting a gate in that barrier to learning, which will allow the good stuff through.

How to conquer the ego

If you are in a conversation with someone and you disagree on something, you will likely begin to debate the matter. You are challenging their beliefs and they are challenging yours.

If one of you has no real knowledge of the subject this will probably go smoothly. You will end up being convinced, or you will convince the other person of your point of view. But often it will get to a situation where neither agrees with the other one, neither will budge and your argument will become stuck.

You need to spot this situation. It can be difficult because we often become overly emotional at this point. Sometimes there is the chance that what we have believed all this time has been wrong, and that is very uncomfortable. Other times, we feel annoyed that the other person doesn’t get the obvious. Personally I get a mildly angry, uptight, exasperated feeling.

This tells us that we have put up a barrier to learning any more on the subject. It means it is important, and that someone is in danger of having a belief challenged.

When this happens, first remind yourself that it is quite possible that you are wrong on this matter. The chances may seem remote on this occasion, but there is always the possibility that you are not right. Nothing is 100% definite. Embrace this chance to improve your knowledge.

Now is an excellent opportunity to either give the other person enough knowledge so that they can change their belief on the subject, or to find where there are gaps in your own understanding.

Look at things from the point of view of the other person. Disassociate from yourself and ask questions from the perspective of the other person.

Ask:

• Why do they believe what they are saying is true?
• What don’t they know that stops them from understanding why you are right?
• What do they know that stops them from understanding why you are right?
• How are they feeling emotionally?
• Would it be to their disadvantage to see things as you do?

At first you may find this hard, and you won’t be able to do it in the middle of the conversation. If this is the case, wait until there is a silent period in the conversation and then try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Or take a break to get a drink. Or wait until the conversation is over, and then think about it in retrospect.

As you practice this, it will become easier and you will become better at it.

If you are disagreeing with something you have read (say in a newspaper) you can go through the same process without the pressure of having to come up with a quick response.

As you become better at this, you will begin to notice one of two things happening:

• Either you will realise that you were wrong
• Or you will realise that the other person is missing some vital information that would allow them to agree with you.

With time and effort a middle ground – and usually agreement – can be found. Some subjects are just too involved to easily come to a consensus, but you can at least finish the debate with a mind more open to other possibilities.

• Have aliens arrived on this planet?
• Does telepathy exist?
• Do ghosts exist?

Why close your mind and be definite either way?